


Heartless

by Sylvalum



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, F/M, Gen, Identity Issues, Original Character(s), Self-Hatred, Torna: The Golden Country DLC, War, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 03:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21367363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylvalum/pseuds/Sylvalum
Summary: She is a weapon, a murderer, the Aegis, a person, a Blade - and then sheisn’t.Someone else can take her place.Mythra’s done.But still the bell in Elysium tolls, and 500 years later there comes a boy named Rex...[Mythra character study]
Relationships: Hikari | Mythra/Homura | Pyra/Rex, Hikari | Mythra/Rex, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 49





	Heartless

**Author's Note:**

> my Mythra character study! feat. daemons because I can get two birds with one stone. So daemons are called Spirits here, and I’ve bent them a lot to suit my needs in XC2, aka. you don't need to know facts about them bc i don't. Also, there's some dialogue bits borrowed from the game!

When she was awakened, a white bird flew up through the golden light and landed on her shoulder, and she knew that this bird was her Spirit. She knew it just as surely as she knew she was an Aegis, a queen among Blades, and that the shocked-awed-afraid man with silver hair and golden eyes standing before her was her Driver.

Blades didn’t have Spirits, though.

Addam of course did, because he was a human, and because he was curious about this anomaly of hers he kept shooting looks at Mythra’s Spirit for weeks after. Addam’s Spirit, a big white horse, didn’t seem even nearly as nosy, but she didn’t talk much either. Freja, Addam had called her. Mythra didn’t have a name for her Spirit (but she felt as if she should have one for him, because everyone else had names… But Blades didn’t have Spirits, so why should he have a name? He shouldn’t exist)

Spirits were a manifestation of your soul. They flit from shape to shape until finally they settled into the one that fit your soul best. And Blades didn’t have them. Did Blades not have souls then? Humans were the worst.

* * *

But Malos had a Spirit too.

A black bird had been cawing out a cruel laugh over the battlefield one day, and then it had flown up from the burned tree it was perched on and landed on Malos’s outstretched arm.

Mythra’s had been in the shape of a cat then, and he had hissed after the bird, back ached.

Addam had frowned, sitting astride Freja, but there had been no time for questions after that, anyway.

* * *

Milton fucking loves questions.

“Why doesn’t your Spirit have a name?”

“She said she couldn’t think of one.” Addam chuckles.

“Well.” Mythra shrugs. “What does it even matter?”

_ “’What does it even matter?’” _ exclaims Milton. “It’s only your _ Spirit, _ lady! What do you usually call him if he ain’t got a name?”

“…You?”

“We don’t really need to introduce ourselves much,” says Addam sheepishly. That’s true – they don’t. They were Prince Addam, Lady Freja, and the Aegis. If there was an extra fox in the bushes, or some bird in her hand, nobody ever dared to ask about it. (because Blades don’t have Spirits, and so hers shouldn’t exist, _ of course) _

Milton’s own Spirit, Spark, who a second ago was a rabbit but now she’s some kind of excitable orange and green bird, squeakily exclaims, “He still needs something though! It’s just silly otherwise.”

“Ugh.” Mythra groans. “Don’t your parents usually name your Spirit?”

“That’s only ‘cause babies don’t know anything yet!” Milton exclaims. “C’mon lady, this is your time to shine. Pick a name!”

“Milton might be right,” Addam adds, smiling gently in that insufferable way of his.

“Yes,” agrees Freja. “Doesn’t your Spirit think so, too?”

Mythra doesn’t look down at her Spirit, but she can still feel him vaguely, as if there’s some sort of affinity thread that connects her to the mottled goat skipping along next to them. But her Spirit doesn’t say a word; maybe because they’re in perfect harmony already, because he’s an extension of Mythra herself, because he barely ever speaks.

Mythra lets out a little frustrated growl. “Fine! I’ll call him Sword then, happy?”

“Yeah!” Milton says. “See, now he’s got a name.”

Addam, however, when Mythra glances at him, looks almost sad. Almost disappointed.

Whatever. It’s not Mythra’s fault. It’s _ not._

* * *

There are many Titans in Alrest, and Mythra, Addam and Milton travel from one to another for almost a whole year, just the three of them, whenever they aren’t checking up on the Militia.

Then they meet Lora and her crew, and suddenly Mythra is not the only Blade around anymore. (Even though she’s still the only_ Aegis _ they’ve got)

Lora and Jin and Haze are all thick as thieves, and they’re not half bad in a fight, Mythra supposes. But she definitely hates the feeling she’s got that Jin’s_ judging _ her, though, looking down on her, and Lora is just so, so… 

Her Spirit’s a dog, a kind of small, very long-furred tan and white thing, who she cheerfully introduces as Cayo. Cayo is friendly and full of energy, but not as annoying as Spark, and he seems to enjoy going off on his own sometimes. After meeting them, Mythra’s own Spirit - now renamed Bite - spends a whole day as a very similar dog, and it’s so _ embarrassing, _ how Lora and Addam and Jin _ keep looking _ at Mythra, because of it, fuck, but her Spirit still doesn’t change shape until she’s endured a whole day of that feeling.

_ Inadequacy. _ Mythra’s going to bury the part of her heart that wants to look up to others, to idolise; she’s going to put it six feet under.

-oh yeah, and then there’s Lora and Jin and Haze’s kid, Mikhail. His Spirit Mythra only gets to see glimpses of, but she knows his name’s Cebrail and that he doesn’t get along well with Spark.

Kids and their squabbles.

* * *

They fight some Ardainian assholes in Gormott, and then Addam’s old buddy the Emperor of Mor Ardain shows up, and Mythra doesn’t even get to blast that stupid woman with Siren even _ once, _ it’s so unfair. Everyone yells at Mythra except for Addam, and Mythra seethes and seethes and tries not to let a single word in and past her defenses.

And then Emperor Hugo and his two terrible Blades join up with Addam, and Mythra just has to deal with it.

That evening as they’re sitting around the campfire, Mythra's Spirit comes trotting up to her, again in the shape of a fox, and he curls up in Mythra’s lap and she strokes his soft fur and she feels almost content, until Brighid says sharply, “What do you think you’re doing? Whose Spirit is that?”

Then everyone turns to look at Mythra, who grits her teeth as Lora says, brightly, “Oh, that’s Mythra’s Spirit. His name’s Bite.”

And Brighid raises one horrible fucking eyebrow and says, “Oh?”

“Yeah,” Mythra snaps. “I’m the _ Aegis, _ so I have a Spirit. Didn’t you know that?”

Bite raises his little red-furred head only enough to glare at Brighid, and Mythra feels irrationally proud. Bite’s a part of her, so what?

“No, we didn’t,” says Hugo calmly. His own Spirit, a small Rhogul called Siriol, sits perched on his left pauldron and regards Mythra with unfathomable yellow eyes. “Does Malos have one, as well?”

“Yes,” Addam answers. “You’ll see it when we end up fighting him.”

Sooner rather than later. Mythra is going to take him down.

It’s what she was born to do.

She doesn’t need to _ make friends, _ or understand love, or process her emotions, or any of that stupid crock Addam loves spouting - all she’s here to do is her job. Whatever reason she’d need a Spirit for _ that _for, she can’t imagine, but there must be something. After all, why would she have a Spirit otherwise?

Mythra knows she’s a weapon, but she’s the _ best _ weapon there’s ever been, the most powerful Blade in history, so she’s perfectly fine with it.

* * *

They fight wildlife, they fight bandits, Mythra renames her Spirit again because nothing fucking _ fits, _ and they fight more monsters - dancing from one battlefield to another, and soon they’ve reached Aletta. They’re not quite working as a team, whatever, but it’s not like Mythra cares about that. The only thing is that she can’t help noticing how the others fight, from Lora’s crew to Hugo’s Blades, and… Brighid’s swords are so stupid. And annoying and finicky to use. And pretty.

Mythra doesn’t care much for Jin or Haze, but Brighid is just so _ beautiful _ in battle - skill and control, precise strikes with her whip-swords, never too much, always the perfect amount of force. It’s like watching a dancer.

Mythra _ wants _ that.

But she can’t have it, she’ll never have that kind of fucking _ poise, _ so she’ll just have to pretend she hates it.

At least she’s got one thing the other Blades don’t: a Spirit.

It’s a pretty shitty advantage.

Mythra wonders out loud, to Lora as they’re washing dishes nearby tonight’s camp, whatever the hell use you can even have for a Spirit.

Lora says, “Well, mainly it’s about comfort, I think. See, he’s a part of you, so he’ll always be there. I think that’s the greatest thing about Spirits.” Lora smiles wistfully. “Too bad normal Blades don’t have them.”

“…You mean you think I’m _ lucky _?”

Lora gives Mythra an abruptly serious look. “Has someone been bothering because you have a Spirit?”

“What-? No!” Mythra would’ve beat them already if that had happened. She scoffs. “I just don’t see the point in Spirits.”

Lora hums. Then she says, “You know, Cayo isn’t just a companion. He can track footprints and go through holes I can’t. And I know he’s technically a part of me, but if you have nobody else… then you’ve still always got your Spirit.” Lora scrapes clean a plate while explaining and woohoo, isn’t this just the quaintest thing? The rushing water is ice cold around Mythra’s ankles, but Lora’s got no problem standing right in the stream so Mythra shouldn’t either. Cayo is skipping around in the water, just far away enough not to hear them talking, while Mythra’s own Claw is watching them from the shore. He’s lazing around on the cliffs looking like an Aspar, not helping with washing the dishes whatsoever.

Mythra can sympathise.

“Sure,” Mythra says to Lora. “But I’m a Blade. I’ve never been alone.”

“Didn’t you say Aegises live forever?” Lora says and looks at her, part teasing, and part… is Lora _ pitying _ her?

“Maybe,” Mythra says, uncomfortable, and then she just _ knows. _ Addam’s going to die one day, and Mythra won’t. And then Mythra will have nobody, because people only care about Mythra because she’s in Addam’s orbit, because she’s the Aegis, because she’s the Blade of _ beloved Prince Addam. _

He’ll die and then Mythra will be alone.

Stricken, Mythra glances at Lora - and Lora only looks at her with understanding in her eyes, and it’s terrible, it’s like a taking a tumble off a cliff.

Mythra forces herself not to react, at all, and reaches stiffly for the next plate to wash up, while - Claw, his blasted name - turns over on the rock and slithers away to hide in the reeds.

* * *

Eventually they head for the capital.

And every day they spend in Auresco, Mythra looks at Addam with new pieces of knowledge in her mind, in her eyes as she glance at him. Piece one: he’s a mortal man. Piece two: he’s got a wife waiting for him, and all he really wants is to go home and tend to his crops. Piece three: he’s about to be a father, and instead he was given a weapon of mass destruction.

Mythra wishes she could be good to him like other Blades can. That she could cook like Jin, or fight like Brighid, or comfort like Haze. Even just _ talk, _ like Minoth - ever since the Flesh Eater joined them, it’s been painful to see how fucking _ easily _ Minoth fights alongside Addam, how Addam enjoys his company. _ And Addam is not even Minoth’s Driver. _

Minoth’s weapons, some combo that can shoot and stab, are pretty interesting too - but Mythra still thinks Brighid’s are the most beautiful.

And Mythra’s sword is plenty impressive too, so who cares? Not her.

-Auresco appeals to Mythra in ways all the other places hadn’t, unfortunately, and maybe she gets a bit fond of the city. There’s plenty of Spirits around for one, even though Nopon don’t even have Spirits, so Mythra’s blends in with the others easily. He still hasn’t spoken a word, but Mythra isn’t too concerned. Mythra can do the talking for the both of them, anyway, is glad to give everyone a piece of her mind.

After a quiet afternoon in the city, she gives him yet another name. _ Light. _ She almost regrets it later, but in the exact moment she names him and tells Addam about it, it feels good. Better.

Better than the other names.

Addam smiles at her when she tells him and squeezes her hand. “That’s great. It fits.”

_ Not wholly, _ Mythra doesn’t add, but she thinks it. It’s better, still, and constant improvement is what she aims for.

Then she sits there at the little café table and watches as Milton and Mikhail’s Spirits play tag in the street, both of them in the shape of dogs just for today, with Light lying down next to her feet in the shape of a wolf, and she almost feels like she’s got a soul and a heart, and that maybe…

Maybe she’ll be alright. Maybe she’ll sort herself out and Addam will be proud of her, at last, and Lora will call her a friend and Brighid won’t scoff at her anymore.

* * *

Mythra’s life so far can be measured in fights against Malos: every week of no Malos, from Lasaria up to the lazy days in Auresco were _ before, _ (and the days they’ll spend cleaning up and rebuilding Auresco will be the _ after.) _Like every battle against Malos so far, it’ll be a defining moment of her life, of her history.

On the battlefield, in the park in Auresco, Malos laughs at them, and his Spirit in the form of a hyena almost gets its jaws around Light before he changes into an Arachno and snaps back. And they fight, and they fight, and they fight.

Siriol flies above the battlefield like a bad omen, darts down to warn Hugo a few times, and Addam and Freja tackle Malos, while Light tries to tear Malos’s Spirit apart, all while Mythra keeps analysing Malos’s style and channeling Ether to Addam. Lora and her crew fight off the Artifices, and Malos laughs, and in the end _ he gets away. _

They get invited to the royal palace again just so High Prince Zettar can mock them, the cowardly worm, while Mythra keeps Light in her lap the whole meeting so that the fox won’t just eat Zettar’s rat Spirit or something equally terrible for politics.

Quaestor Amalthus’s own Spirit Wisteria, a pompous cat, also looks like she’s up for taking a bite out of Zettar. She’s watching Zettar’s Spirit with too rapt attention, even as Amalthus pets her possessively - there’s something about that tableau that Mythra dislikes intensely. After Zettar’s done, the King of Torna starts speaking, which at least gets Mythra to stop paying attention to them. 

Spirits say a lot about the person they belong to. This is accepted as common truth in all of Alrest.

So is there any wonder, that Freja towers splendid and powerful above Zettar’s little rat, and even the King of Torna has a quite magnificent dog in comparison?

Mythra’s own Spirit hasn’t settled yet, but sometimes she can’t help but wonder what the hell she’ll end up with. A fox? A snake? A cat? Or something entirely new?

(Malos’s hasn’t settled either. But Mythra isn’t supposed to wonder about his Spirit)

After the meeting is adjourned, and they’re certain of Addam and the Militia’s welcome, they all leave the palace and go out into the park. There’s rubble strewn over the neat patterns in the sand, and a few plumes of smoke rising from the eastern part of the city, but there’s also several humans and Blades out and cleaning up the mess together. Malos got away, sure, but Auresco will live.

The thought makes Mythra feel far better than she’d expected.

How incredibly stupid.

* * *

In the morning, Lora is knighted.

They spend the rest of the day cleaning up the city and helping people with small tasks, and Mythra only finds herself complaining like, five times.

Addam obviously loves his people, and Mythra realises that she does not actually have the heart to tease him about it. Not today, not now, when Auresco is just barely out of the heat of battle. When Malos could come back at any time, and human and Nopon lives are so pathetically fragile.

(and with them, the Blades and Spirits also)

Mythra wishes they could have defeated Malos at once, the very first time they fought him - or at least the second, or third time, or finally yesterday when they fought him in Auresco. 

If only Mythra had had the space to fire with Siren-

Her dark angry thoughts don’t last long in the Auresco sunshine.

Next time. Next time, she’ll get him.

They all have become quite fond of Auresco, even Mythra, and you don’t ever threaten something Mythra - or the others - hold dear. Mythra is the _ Aegis, _ they’ve got Addam’s Militia and Hugo’s enforcements from Mor Ardain, and you don’t become a knight of Torna unless you’re the best of the best. They’re capable. They _ will _ succeed in defeating Malos.

And Mythra tries not to think too hard about what she’s going to do _ after _they’ve stopped Malos. Follow Addam home to Aletta and tend to the crops with him? Become a simple farmer? Mythra doesn’t think so.

She’s a weapon, a fighter, the Aegis. She’s… she’s…

-She tells Milton and Mikhail to stay in the capital, because for once they’re all in agreement, Addam, Jin, Mythra. It’s too dangerous for the kids to follow them to fight Malos. Even if Mythra is the Aegis, she _ can’t _ protect the kids _ and _ fight Malos at the same time. It’s the only true threat assessment.

And Mythra _ won’t _ let the kids come to harm. She won’t.

“Make me a promise.” Milton pleads to Jin, at last, after finally relenting. “That you’ll kill Malos! And bring Addam and Freja back no matter what!”

“No matter what,” Spark echoes quietly, sitting at his feet as a rabbit.

Jin nods solemnly and promises, and Mythra thinks, _ good. _

* * *

Later, she finds him writing in a diary.

“Keeping a journal, huh? Brighid’s into it too.” Mythra’s seen Brighid’s heavy blue diary only once, but the book had looked so very _ her, _ thick fancy Ardainian parchment and a simple sturdy cover. “Is that like a thing now?”

She sits down, and Light jumps up to her lap then shifts into a snake and curls up. Soft, warm, safe - content. His scales are a dull white and his eyes slitted gold.

“Who knows,” Jin says, and puts down his quill to look seriously at Mythra.

She’s hardly ever seen him be anything less than serious at all times. She wonders; is that some remnant of a former Driver? Is that something that Lora, or his and Lora’s life somehow gave him? Or is it just an integral part of Jin’s core personality, like his loyalty? Mythra knows - can even see it, now - that he loves Lora more than Mythra would have thought a Blade could ever love a Driver, would have even thought possible, at the start of her journey. Would have thought foolish and dumb, as a newborn Blade.

Why Jin would bother trying to chronicle all that, what a hopeless task, is beyond Mythra.

-but of course Jin doesn’t think so. They’re fundamentally different like that.

_ ‘Keeping the bond alive’ _yeah, right. Right.

Jin looks at her with this strange look, and defensively Mythra says, “What?”

And then Jin’s rude enough to go ahead and say that - that Addam isn’t who Mythra is supposed to have resonated with. Like Mythra’s failed at destiny, too. But of course Jin isn’t that mean, never, which would really only mean that he actually believes that… that Mythra will find her true affinity in the future. That there’s something _ waiting _ for her, something other than a last battle against Malos, and then being doomed to plant beans until Addam dies and she’s left all alone.

“Blade’s intuition,” Jin says, and he’s not really smiling, but his face looks a bit like he would be, if he were anyone else.

Always so gentle, isn’t he.

Mythra - is going to try and think about this later, she knows she will. She’ll tear into the words viciously like she can cleave the _ hope _ of them out with enough cynicism and existential dread, because _ Jin knows nothing about her! _ She’ll fight against believing it (then finally believe, and then stop with faith completely because of what she’s done-) But right now, in that present moment, all she can do is to bid him goodnight and quickly leave, Light changing shape and trotting after her on silent wolf’s feet.

* * *

She renames her Spirit at their last meal together, at a camp on the other side of the Dannagh desert. The night sky is endless above them and everyone sits tense, eats and jokes mechanically before starting to pack up. Quietly readying their weapons and whispering things to each other, sharing small touches.

Mythra stands away from the rest of them and glances up at the red glow of Torna’s spread wings against the star-dotted sky. Pure orange-red Ether, enormous amounts of it, spun into the giant feathers of a giant Titan. 

Then she turns her head a bit and looks down at the wolf standing next to her and thinks, _ Mercury. _

She tells Addam about it as they start trekking up the mountain and he looks at her and asks, “So you’ve found it? The name?”

“Guess so,” Mythra says, and shrugs a little uncomfortably. 

In front of them, Mercury skips ahead of Freja then dances around her a little, and Freja snorts before taking a few galloping steps forward so that she’s in the lead. Meanwhile in the air above them, Siriol flies in little circles and occasionally rises up high to scout ahead, and at the very front of their group Cayo’s running, while Lora marches steadfastly after him and all the other Blades and humans after her.

After, Mythra’ll remember this little scene much more vibrantly than that one photograph they took in Hyber Village. She’ll look back on this moment and wonder, _ was there anything I could’ve done? _

And with vicious hate for herself she’ll answer every time, _ of course. _

* * *

The thing that hits the hardest and cuts the deepest as it happens is seeing Mikhail holding Milton’s small, small body, no Spirit in sight and his face streaked with grime, and when Mythra reaches out to - to -

-and Mikhail flinches away, pulling Milton’s body to his chest, away from her, and Cebrail hisses and curls around them, and Mythra has no place here anymore.

She killed him.

He was a kid Mythra was supposed to protect, and Mythra killed him.

And she cries into Addam’s chest as he stiffly puts an arm around her, emotions closed off, and she knows that she _ can’t bear this. _ She’s a fucking coward and a murderer besides, but she cannot bear this. She’s out of control. She killed Milton. She can’t-

She _ is- _(a weapon, a murderer, the Aegis, a person, a Blade-)

and then she isn’t.

Someone else can take her place.

Mythra’s done.

* * *

A bell tolls in Elysium.

There’s an almost endless meadow, a field of emerald green. Each blade of grass is soft and velvety perfect. In the distance beyond the grassland there’s forest and a little village with a little white stone church, and in the tower in that church a bell chimes. Softly, with regular intervals, but never stopping.

Above is a perfect blue sky with a few perfect and fluffy white streaks of cloud. Just a hint of purple above the tops of a few faraway trees. Just a little smudge of violet.

The bell tolls.

And as Rex wakes up, with no breath and no heartbeat, but with his little otter-shaped Spirit Joy next to him, he sits up and rubs his eyes.

Joy wonders out loud where they are.

Rex takes a look around himself and says, “Beats me.”

Another chime of the bell sounds.

Then they both spot the tree on the hill. And the girl and the wolf standing beneath the tree, both of them looking at something in the far distance, their backs turned to Rex and Joy.

Carefully they start approaching them…

And from a dark, shamefully hidden corner of Pyra’s mind, Mythra wakes and watches as they make a deal, and as for the first time in 500 years something happens.

* * *

Malos survived.

After _ everything Mythra did, _ and Malos had the gall to survive, to appear here 500 years later looking not a day older, though there’s something _ off _ about him, and his Spirit walks beside him in the shape of a lioness.

Settled, Mythra would guess.

Mercury is definitely settled.

(Mythra later learns that it was Jin who ended up naming Malos’s Spirit. Mythra didn’t know you could… _ do _ that. Let someone else make the choice)

Jin is lost she realises then and there, and Malos tells her again what she _ already knows, _ they’re _ weapons, _ the Aegises, the _ worst _ weapons of them all. And Mythra is reawakened, unleashed upon the world again, _ brought back _ to cruel existence all because of Rex’s foolishness. They’re in the old Olethro ruins in Uraya and Malos isn’t _ alone, _ he has a companion with him who has a Blade but no Spirit in sight - and Malos has a Blade too, for whatever reason, and he’s back to destroy everything once again and _ why _ couldn’t Rex just have _ run for Pyra’s sake- _

Mythra fires upon them with Siren, hits them hard and brutal, and then she gives her sword to Rex.

Both of the Blade affinity links - Malos and Akhos’s - snap, bending beneath extreme force and leaving the Cores dead and grey.

The might of a true Aegis.

Malos gets away, again. And then the facts of _ everything, _Rex crying and Malos’s return, kind of slam into her and she lets Pyra take over again, sinking back and away to that dark and dreamy place out of reality where she is made only of aching grief, divine wrath and memory.

That dream of Elysium, where the consequences won’t hit her.

* * *

There is nothing quite like watching a Titan die.

Thousands of animals of all kind, fish and birds and great stalking beats, thousands of years of culture and history, cities and towns and all the people, the forests, the lakes you swam in, the rivers, the fields of gromrice- all of it _ dying _ in just a few hours, sinking into the depths. Drowning in less than a day, like none of it fucking _ meant anything. _

The great continental Titans cry out like wounded animals, they bleed Ether and they trash and spasm in obvious agony - watching them drown is like watching a soldier bleeding out in the field. 

Watching a country die.

Mythra ought to have a warning label stamped on her forehead, because she’s the _ Aegis, _ a destroyer of continents and overall a terrible, awful, rude, offensive, brash, cold-hearted _ simpleton _ who can’t cook and can’t control her powers and has only ever brought pain and suffering to her Drivers. 

And Rex _ should have run like Vandham told him to. _

She snaps at him, yells at him - if she thinks about how much power she really used, about how _ she let Siren out _ \- her hands are trembling and she squeezes them into tight fists. Mercury prowls around her with his tail between his legs, betraying what she’s really feeling - but Rex doesn’t look at Mercury, only at Mythra’s face as she scolds him.

To which Rex snaps back, “I know, all right!? I knew I was being an idiot.”

And Mythra pauses. Because as Rex then says that all he wanted was to keep them safe, Mythra - and Pyra, who’s listening in - wow.

What an - an idiot.

‘Keep her safe’. She _ is _ the danger! And Rex doesn’t see that. He’s blind. He’s _ naïve. _ There’s just no way that any person could ever really be this _ good. _

Pyra then makes excuses to Rex on Mythra’s behalf back in the inn, which is embarrassing and infuriating.

But _ fine, _ whatever! She doesn’t want Rex to be pissed at her, Mythra supposes.

And then she actually thinks to start paying attention to Rex’s feelings.

At first it just registers as some subtle but very... _ itchy _ part of Rex’s emotions towards her that is entirely different from Addam, what Addam used to feel. It takes Mythra and Pyra four whole months spent across six different Titans to figure out that the difference is that Rex _ trusts _ her - both of her - unconditionally. He’s got so much faith in the world and in them, completely and utterly believes in her - like Addam apparently never really did, not to this extent. Not this much. Not this… devotedly.

And when Mythra starts really paying attention, she can see that Rex _ inspires _ this in others.

It’s fucking insane.

Rex wins the trust of that distrustful Gormotti Driver, Nia, and of Special Inquisitor Mòrag, her Spirit and the new Brighid, and of Zeke von Genbu, secret crown prince of Tantal, and his Blade, and in turn Emperor Niall of Mor Ardain and all their Spirits, and even Queen Raqura of Uraya and the new Chairman of the Argentum Trade Guild are willing to hear Rex out. Nopon, humans, Titans, robots, Spirits and Blades all like Rex. Salvagers and Drivers, regents and workers, civilians and soldiers, Gormotti and Ardainians - Rex wants to help them all.

There’s no other choice for him. He’s going to save them or die trying. 

Rex wants to do the impossible and get to Elysium.

He reminds Mythra a bit of a less hardened version of Lora: always kind and willing to help out, but with a solid sense of humour and a giant stubborn streak coupled with some impressive guts. He’s not a kid. He’s seen suffering and struggle, experienced it himself, his Spirit’s settled already, and yet…

And yet the thing that sets him apart from Addam and Lora and Hugo and all the other brave souls who Mythra once fought with, is how much he doesn’t give a shit about Mythra’s terrible power.

He’s not afraid.

He’s not even _ anxious, _ or a little bit worried.

It feels like Mythra could just keep giving away, keep baring bits of herself for him to see and Rex would only be delighted at every new one, would accept and love her all the same even if Mythra peeled back all of her armour and Rex got to see the horrible clawing guilt and weakness within her. Even the most trivial of her worries and dumbest of thoughts, and Rex would just…

It’s such an uncomfortable feeling. She’s out deep in the Cloud Sea now, like standing on top of an incredibly steep cliff and knowing that the fall would be so high - but still being tempted to do it. Not many things have ever tempted Mythra, but this… _ this. _

She’s greedy and she wants it _ all, _ everything that Pyra wants. They’re so very different, but in this matter they feel nearly exactly the same, two parts of a whole and both of them attuned to Rex only.

Her compass in battle, and their affinity link blazes golden as soon as it connects. He gets a wound; Mythra gets a wound. Driver and Blade, one in body and soul-

This is_ it. _

Even Mercury follows Rex around, sometimes. Though Mercury still hasn’t spoken, Joy is one of the most talkative Spirits Mythra has ever encountered and she keeps trying to engage Mercury in conversation. It’s… nice. In a way. It’s nice that even Rex’s Spirit wants to connect to them, the single part of Rex that Mythra and Pyra would otherwise not be able to feel.

Pyra is quietly pleased and warm with affection, and some her sister’s emotions must be affecting Mythra.

Mythra’s never cared what others thought about Mercury - has she? - so why should she care that Joy likes him? Even though it is… nice.

* * *

Haze calls herself Fan la Norne nowadays, but Mythra doesn’t have the time to dig any deeper into whatever the hell is going on over in Indol, because if they don’t stop Jin now they’re going to have a war on their hands.

Pyra’s memories of Haze aren’t as clear as Mythra’s, either - Mythra tries to keep as much of herself, her power, personality, essence - away from Pyra’s consciousness, if possible, and memories are also included in that package. The more personal the memory, the harder Pyra has to remember it.

Some of the memories are almost too big to be contained - so what Pyra gets, is the bad taste of all the sorrow and guilt behind them.

Not much of that is tied to Haze, yet.

They’re in Temperantia and Fan la Norne says she’ll contain the Titan Weapon so that they can up get on it’s back and attack it from above. Rex tells her to be careful, Mythra says nothing to that, too uncomfortable with memory, and then they sprint cross the battlefield followed by explosions and the roar of Titans.

When Haze - _ Fan, _ makes her stand, Mythra tells Rex that she’ll be fine and stops him from clumsily rushing to help her, and she _ is _ fine. She stops the Titan’s march.

They get onto its back only to then have to fight first the defense mechanisms, and then Jin comes out from his hiding place. Fan la Norne introduces herself to him, and it’s the most surreal thing to watch and to remember at the same time-

Jin spins to face Mythra instead and exclaims, “And you, Aegis! Don’t you dare stand there acting like you’re not involved in all this!”

Well, _ alright. _

Jin’s words mean nothing to her anymore; he’s only throwing stones from his own glass house. If he’s joined Malos’s cause, or Malos has joined _ his _ cause - he is lost. He doesn’t get to say _ anything _ about what happened 500 years ago if he’s out here _ now, _ today, destroying Lora and Addam’s legacy. Fan la Norne has nothing to do with this, she’s not relevant, not if Jin is trying to provoke Uraya and Mor Ardain into a _ war _right this very moment-

He was the strongest Blade in Torna, and he promised Mythra that she had a future - and now he’s sunk just as low as Malos.

(the fact that he rips off precious Lora’s handcrafted mask and throws it to the ground, that he’s a _ Flesh Eater _ shouldn’t fucking _ shock _her, of course Mythra suspected, because how else-)

Jin’s still too fast, too bloody _ fast _with his sword, and Rex isn’t as experienced as he could be, he’s all faith and no ruthlessness, no-

No, no, he kills Fan. _ Haze. _

But maybe it’s only Fan that he kills.

Maybe Haze was dead already.

Maybe _ all _ that Jin says isn’t worthless, even though Rex yells at him.

Normal Blades don't have a very good lot in life, yes, but - but look at Brighid standing next to Mòrag. When Brighid stands at Mòrag’s side, she looks more content than Mythra ever saw her back in Torna. And Mythra hears Jin’s voice whisper,_ “your true affinity” _ from hundreds of years past in her mind, remembering it only when she sees Brighid so… enamoured. So at peace. 

Look at how Pandoria and Zeke orbit around each other, too. Mythra hasn’t known them for very long, but Pandoria and Zeke do everything together, always moving in sync and predicting the other’s moves before they make them, always perfectly in tune. Zeke even lets Pandoria hold his Spirit casually, like it doesn’t hold a tremendous amount of symbolic weight in Alrest, like he’d trust her with anything. And Pandoria almost glows with the same emotions.

_ Look _ at dear Haze, lying still and dead on the ground where Jin left her - look at her face! _ Coward! _ She could’ve been Jin’s dear Lora’s _ twin; _ she resonated that closely, loved her that dearly.

Mythra can’t speak for them, because she’s not a common Blade, she’s an Aegis - but all the same, Jin doesn’t even _ see it. _

Indol shouldn’t have been given this much power, obviously, but how would throwing Alrest into another bloody war help with anything? _ How? _

Jin’s holding on to too much grief, too much hate. He’s become almost as venomous as Malos.

He _ killed _ Haze.

But just as they all think it’s going to come to blows- Jin collapses. Akhos drags him away and mocks them while the defense systems kick on again, and so they fight another pointless battle on a battlefield that’s already dead and destroyed and drenched in hundreds of years old blood, casualty to another pointless war.

Blades are made to fight, but that can’t be _ all, _ can it? _ Can it!? _

Why would Father _ do _ that?

* * *

There’s a conference in Indol, of course. Bureaucracy moves exactly as slowly as it did 500 years ago, and Queen Raqura refuses to even believe that Malos has returned from the dead - until Mythra herself strides in with Mercury after her, swearing that it’s true.

“That Core Crystal-! And a Spirit!”

“That is not possible,” says her Spirit, Lord Halcyon, who’s a swan as pure white as Mythra’s dress. He even has his own little tiara on his head.

(People didn’t turn as many heads when Mythra walked past, back in the days of the Aegis War.) 

Zeke quickly steers the conversation back around to the real matter at hand, _ thank you, _ but despite that the meeting takes several hours. Mythra tells the gathered leaders, Malos’s Driver among them, that she’s sure he’s damaged in some way. He’s not fighting in a way that makes sense, unless it’s because he’s too badly damaged to wield the power of an Aegis.

Small mercies, Mythra supposes.

Doesn’t make all those people any less dead, however.

Queen Raqura understands the severity of the situation as soon as she accepts the hard cold truth that Malos has returned, and Mòrag and her brother Emperor Niall both look at Mythra seriously, and their birds perched on their shoulders, an eagle and an owl, have equally troubled eyes. 

Praetor Amalthus says he takes on the blame and that it’s his fault that Malos is what he is.

Mythra - could believe that, sure, but the sincerity in Amalthus’s words when he admits any fault of his own is seriously lacking. Curious, isn’t it, how the Driver of the Aegis of destruction gets to sit upon Indol’s throne? Isn’t it odd?

-but Rex is worrying rather loudly on the other side of the wall, and Mythra’s fascination for his feelings will never cease. Amalthus was a shady worm 500 years ago, so why would he be any different now? It is what it is.

“Malos clearly does not obey any of the laws of men…” Wisteria, Amalthus’s Spirit, purrs from where she’s sprawled on the table. Mythra more feels than sees how Mercury bares his teeth at her voice.

Later, Amalthus scoffs at her devotion toward Rex.

‘Devotion’? Hah! Mythra has never been good enough to summon forth any _ devotion _to a Driver, but-

Either way, Amalthus can choke. Mythra’s never liked him _ or _his Spirit.

* * *

Fan la Norne gets a funeral befitting a monarch, which is the fucking least Amalthus could’ve done for her. All of Rex’s gang mourns their own little personal things and dead people at her grave, surely, but Rex seems to genuinely mourn for _ Fan’s _ sake.

Rex is truly the best of them all.

After all that and much, much more, they finally tidy up the political affairs in Indol and are on their way to Tantal, of all places. Secret crown prince Ozychlyrus Brounev Tantal (haha) and his Spirit is coming with them of course, and so is Pandoria, obviously. It’ll be an interesting trip, Mythra knows for sure, even without using her foresight. So she lets Pyra take the reins for now.

“How come the two of you share a Spirit, anyway?” Zeke asks Pyra, as she sits down that evening to drink tea with the others in the little dining room aboard the Indoline ship taking them toward Tantal.

“Me and Mythra?” Pyra asks. _ Duh, _ Mythra thinks. “Well… we do share a body, and power… if everything else, why not the Spirit, too?”

Mercury, sitting on the floor next to Pyra’s chair, looks at Zeke meaningfully.

(Mythra doesn’t take over to say, that she thinks Mercury’s chosen shape fits the both of them perfectly anyway. Though she _ does _ keep a very close eye on the conversation)

“Anyway…” Pyra begins, changing the subject. “How are the Spirits in Tantal? In Uraya most of them were aquatic creatures, and in Mor Ardain I’ve seen so many birds…”

“Well,” Zeke says, and glances at his own Spirit, who’s determinedly trying to devour a stack of fried octomayo on her own, despite the fact that the heap of food is bigger than her. She’s a flying squirrel with some god-awful name like ‘Philomena Anastasia Sempronia’ and Zeke determinedly introduces her as Phil every time.

“The Spirits in Tantal are adapted to the snow, I suppose. It’s pretty cold in Tantal.”

“Yeah,” Pandoria adds, as she sits down at the table too, having gone to fetch more food for herself. She pets Phil on her tiny head, and the squirrel preens with her mouth full of fried squid. “Zeke’s old man’s Spirit is this stupidly large moose who was always roasting Zeke, and his advisors all had like… bears and lynxes and Ellooks… there was this one guy with a whole darn Squood, wasn’t there?”

“Oh man,” Zeke says gleefully. “I’d totally forgotten about good old Tedusius!”

“Maybe you repressed the memory,” Pandoria suggests and mock-shudders. 

“Oh, wow,” Pyra says, a bit faintly, and then neither Pyra nor Mythra asks any more questions for the rest of the day.

* * *

Mòrag’s Spirit is a splendid golden eagle, very alike to her ancestor’s Spirit in appearance though not in manner. He’s fabulously blunt and frequently says things that Mòrag isn’t strictly allowed to say, which Mythra thinks is delightfully clever of them to do. His name is Tearlach, a respectable family name, while at the same time not being crazy long like Phil’s.

A very common scene that Tearlach, Brighid and Mòrag like to play out in front of nobles is this: Tearlach says what Mòrag is thinking but not permitted to say according to the rules of polite society or whatever. After that, Brighid agrees with Tearlach and smirks at Mòrag, who then half-heartedly protests against the two of them, while painstakingly stifling her own smile.

It’s immensely satisfying to see Brighid mocking someone who’s not Mythra. Brighid and Mòrag aren’t as stiff and formal as Hugo and Brighid were, either, and Mythra thinks that Brighid honestly seems to much happier with Mòrag. Like their resonance is just _ right. _ And hey, if the Jewel of Mor Ardain can find her true connection… then maybe Rex is meant for Mythra and Pyra, after all.

It _ could _be fate, like Pyra believed.

If she dares to hope.

She’s only been hoping to die ever since she was reawakened, though less and less as time went on and she realised she had to stop Malos and Jin and their Torna first, and the journey to the World Tree stretches on and on for months and months and months and they meet so many people and see so many places…

-and in a brief dispute with Zeke’s terrible father, who’s Spirit indeed is a big fucking moose, Mythra and Pyra are once again confronted with the question: is it _ right _ for her to even _ exist? _ If anyone had asked Mythra right after the Aegis War… and Addam _ did, _ in a way, and Mythra and Pyra answered, ‘seal us away and sink us to the bottom of the Cloud Sea’. They said, _ no _. But now after 500 years of sleep there was Rex, and then there was the never-ending fight against Malos and other bastards who want to destroy mankind, everything that Father built-

They’re needed. If they can help Rex in any way by staying in Alrest, by living, then that’s that.

Their choice is Rex.

To live alongside mankind, as long as it means living by Rex’s side - Pyra thinks that is their purpose. Mythra, pessimistically, doesn’t - but she sure as hell _ wants _ it. She’ll take it.

* * *

Genbu then does something the people of Tantal can’t allow it to do, because they’ll all die if Genbu continues diving at this speed, and Zeke curses at his old man but quickly calculates how long they’ve got to save his people. 

And apparently the Omega Fetter is still around. Mythra only _ thinks _ about how it was Ophion’s control core once, and then Pyra quickly volunteers herself to go and get it without any input from Mythra.

Mythra isn’t the only one of them who feels immensely guilty about sinking a Titan, of course, but sometimes Mythra nearly forgets-

Pyra is quite capable on her own.

Rex approves of Pyra’s decision, which only firmens her resolve. The Omega Fetter is just another Artifice control core; of course they should be able to use it to control Genbu, why wouldn’t she, and Zeke, Pandoria and Phil know a quick route up to Genbu’s head where the Fetter is hidden.

They’re going to do it. They’re going to save a Titan from sinking.

* * *

Mythra does it. She and Pandoria _ save _ Tantal from a Cloud Sea grave.

They did it. Tora, Poppi and Phil all cheer, Zeke embraces Pandoria, and Rex and Joy both exclaims their happiness. Mercury skips around and playfully swats at Joy, who squeals happily and initiates a game of tag. Mythra doesn’t quite smile at Rex, but you know, that’s for dignity’s sake.

She can’t just grin like a loon, right? _ Wrong! _Pyra insists gleefully.

They leave the dome inside of Genbu’s head, stepping back out into the snow, and _ wham, _ there’s Akhos and Patroka and Mikhail ready to ambush them.

(Mikhail, with Cebrail at a grossly unnatural distance away from him. In fact Mythra hasn’t seen Cebrail since - since back then, but who knows what Mikhail even _ is, _ anymore-)

They want the Fetter, because_ of course _ they want it. Life is never easy.

They’re Flesh Eaters (but Mikhail _ can’t _ be, so _ what _ is he?) but despite that Rex and the others are winning the fight, they’re winning- until Jin returns, and everything goes so wrong so quickly. Not even foresight or Siren’s blasts can keep up with whatever the hell it is Jin’s doing, has done to himself.

When Rex bleeds, Mythra bleeds. Another part of their sacred bond and Jin is violating it, he’s_ hurting Rex through her- _

Mythra feels herself fading, and Pyra scrambles to take over before Mythra passes-

* * *

The next thing she feels is _ agony. _

Someone is _ hurting _ Pyra, is gouging into her Core and her memories and Mythra can’t even move, can’t-

Malos is in her _ head. _

Mythra is disgusted and wants to recoil but can’t do a thing, she’s barely even _ there, _ a whisper even tinier than Mercury’s consciousness, and _ that’s _ when Pyra’s overwhelming fear hits Mythra too because Malos isn’t stopping. He’s taking and taking and the _ memories, _ of Rex and the - the others and Addam and everyone and _ Rex, _ they’re disappearing even as Pyra flees.

She has to protect them, she has to protect the - the, the _ somethings, _she can’t remember-

Then Malos catches her, whatever scraps of memory and soul remains of the Aegis once known as Mythra, the Spirit known as Mercury and the person known as Pyra, and the last thing she does is scream for him to stop.

* * *

There is no... anything.

There is nothing... nothing, until Rex starts approaching.

She knows only how important he is, how absolutely vital - until Rex takes a few steps closer, and she remembers _ more. _

Pyra and - _ wait, _she’s Mythra. Pyra is the red-haired one.

Then Rex comes closer yet again, and all at once Mythra knows beyond any doubt who she is. Of _ course _she isn’t Pyra, they’re different (but parts of a whole).

Another few steps closer, and they can remember the others. Addam, and Mòrag and - no, wait. Addam, and _ Hugo, _ and Lora. And in another group, Nia, and Mòrag, and-

Rex comes closer, still, and Pyra remembers how Rex rested in her lap in Gormott and bandaged her hand.

Closer, and Mythra remembers waking up in the Olethro ruins, furious and out for blood until she saw Rex.

It takes a while for Rex to climb the cliffs of Morytha until he’s all the way there, but in the meantime the memories keep flooding back in, a rush of so many emotions they didn’t even know _ existed. _ She understands about grief, and strife, and pride. Sorrow, and guilt. Surprise, soft and gentle, and horrible shock. Then awe and hope and _ love, _ all-consuming love that lights you up from the inside, makes your eyes shine and your whole being attune itself to that one other heartbeat, _ the _one.

It’s Rex, it’s always been Rex, even 500 years ago it was supposed to be Rex.

She chooses him, she loves him, she’ll fight for him, she’ll walk alongside him.

She can’t _ ever _ ask him to do the same.

Mythra and Pyra, connected but still two separate beings at the moment, are just barely aware of what happens out there in reality. How Rex and his friends fight Malos and Jin, again, getting badly hurt, again. Then the temperature starts dropping lower and lower, and they _ have _ to act.

They start talking, because what else could they do, as ghosts of herself? Barely in the world as more than two mirages.

“Enough! Give up, Rex!”

“Forget about us!”

They’ve caused him so much pain - Vandham and his Spirit, Fan la Norne’s death, what happened just now in Tantal - they’ve dragged him to every corner of Alrest, they’ve been hunted down all because others wanted her power. Mythra and Pyra can see it all now, so clearly. How Rex gave her his hand, again and again, pulled her up and showed her so many things about Alrest.

How in return, Pyra kept secrets and Mythra was rude and dismissive, because they had never met anyone as wonderful as Rex and they didn’t know how to behave around him, hardly knew what to think.

Mythra thought for so long that all that mattered was the fight against Malos, but she was _ so _wrong.

Rex means so much to them, and that’s why they can’t let him fight and bleed for them any more. They’re an _ Aegis, _ a weapon more terrifying than any Ether accelerator, cannon or warship - no one should have to be bonded to them, and least of all Rex. It’s only fair that they tell him now, tell him that they wished to reach Elysium only so that their Father could erase them from the world.

They were a dead girl walking from the moment he awoke them, and if Rex gets himself killed fighting over Pyra’s dead body-

He can’t, he mustn’t, he’s _ not allowed to! _

_ “Abandon us.” _ They plead, they ask him to with all the terrible tenderness of their months together aching in their one single heart that no longer beats within Pyra’s ribcage, with desperate hope that Rex will survive. That Rex will do the right thing, the smart thing, even if it kills them.

And Rex, in the midst of parrying Jin’s blows, shouts back incredulously, “Abandon you?”

Joy yells, “Never,” and ducks for a blow.

Rex bares his teeth. “When you are injured, I feel your pain. When you feel pain, I feel the sorrow in your heart!”

“We both feel it,” Joy adds. “How Mercury never talks! How you’re both always so- so-”

“Have they finally cracked?” Malos yells, drowning out Joy. His own Spirit leaps forward with a roar as if trying to catch Joy, and the otter squeaks and darts away from the lioness, running in circles around the three men on the battlefield.

Malos and Jin cannot hear Pyra and Mythra speak, because they have no fucking _ right _ to.

“You can make it to Elysium! With or without us,” they say, pleading still. Rex _ can _make it, can fulfill his dream, can find Elysium and the endless lands and save everyone, end every war.

The Aegis was never what gave Rex the power to do that.

Just because Mythra and Pyra selfishly wanted to die, wanted to make Rex take them there, shouldn’t make their promise binding. Rex should go on without them! Now, when he has the chance!

-and Rex refuses to.

Because he wants them to go _ together, _ or nothing at all. He’s doing it for them just like Mythra and Pyra are doing it for him and his dream, and he says that they’re going to find Elysium together, they’re going to discover the future together, save the people of Alrest together, and they love him, there’s no words for it there’s so much of it, but _ they love him. _

They’ve shown him all of what they are and asked him, and he’s accepted them, every single bit of their beings, what terrible birthright they've got. He’s accepted it all.

Mythra realises that the thing that’s been different all along, is how Rex and Nia and all the others make life worth _ living. _ How the fight and the wars were _ never _ the point at all, no matter what Father may have thought or not. She wasn’t born only to destroy, wage war and fight- she was born to _ live. _

And when Jin attacks and swings his sword at Rex, their _ one true sword, _ the one Addam never managed to wield, manifests into Rex’s hands like it was made for him.

And in that moment, Mythra and Pyra are one.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote the last 4k words of this fic this morning in a mad rush. Anyway, if you have thoughts, please tell me in a comment :D  
(why Zeke's Spirit isn't a turtle: i deemed them too slow to properly fit him, but rest assured, they still have Turters)


End file.
